Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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Nick Cannon

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society.

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

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wanna hear a joke? i dont

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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Why did the Flintstones have Christmas? The Flintstones celebrated Christmas because the creator, William Hanna, celebrated it. As it is a kids TV show, you can't expect it to be factually correct.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? Still a pilot.

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Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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