Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Your mom's so fat, I tried to rape her but couldn't find her p**** and gave up. Instead I decided to take her out to dinner. We enjoyed a lovely meal and I spent the rest of the night trimming her fat with a vegetable peeler while she screamed and bled all over the floor.

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two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

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Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Walnut

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

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whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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why was Ralph depressed? Because his family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn’t quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family’s murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family’s killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer’s whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers’ home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers’ body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn’s life didn’t, and wouldn’t, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him “You’re finally home Ralph, you’re finally home.”

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How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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You wanna see something really scary?

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What is Lady Gaga's real name? Who the crap knows?

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A man walks into a bar. Ow

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Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Why was a member of the KKK laughing at another member who was his friend? Because he had just divorced his black wife who he recently found out that he had received AIDS from.

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If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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