Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a sabertooth walks into a club. the caveman set his trap perfectly.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to the black jew? He went to college and died in a plane crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did annie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Annie!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jose gutierrez is a gay fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

William wright is Gay

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I see you driving 'Round town with the girl I love And I'm like, Haiku!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops