why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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