What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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No because your face is really f***** up.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

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why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

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What is more addictive than World Of Warcraft? Heroin

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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Caroline Kelly.

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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