A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

Q: Why did the crazy man stare at the orange juice container? A: Because it started talking.

a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

Why did the heroin addict get staff infection? His skin broke open multiple times without proper cleansing.

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a truck.

A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

Roses were red Violets were blue Until the Fire nation attacked Now it's all black

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A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

what do you call obama a dumbass

Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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