How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

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Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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you...

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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