roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

Knock Knock WHO'S THERE?????!!! y u mad? u have been knocking at the doors for 5 hours now, mom

You having friends.

What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

roses are red violets are twisted turn around bitch your about to get fisted

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

To (down) Below: BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOL! MWAHAHAHAHA HOHOHOHO HEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEHEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHA... Man I cant breathe! YUCK YUCK YUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! AHAHA! HOHOHOHOHOHO HAHAHAHAHA!

what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

roses are red vilots are blue in soviot russa poem read you.

Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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