How do you confuse a Blondel? Tell her there's a demon in her liver

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many pairs of jordans does your dad have? None, he lost both his legs in vietnam.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the police officer arrest Maxwell? Because he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red violet are blue i saw a machine and it was ps2

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ring ring yes.This is doctor steve and we got our test results and it seems that you'r son has butinites and you'r kind sytoms are nothing because he is just an ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops