Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

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Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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Black people

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yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

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why did tyler detweiler walk across the street? he didnt he has ceribral palsey

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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