What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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What's the capital of Ohio? O

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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c======3

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops