if got a joke if fogot it

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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Why did the police officer beat the black man? Because the Internet is able to connect a variety of different types of people together and the off-duty police officer was slightly better at the multiplayer game they were playing.

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Yo mama so fat when she sat around the hous she sat AROUND the house

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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