what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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George Zimmerman walks into a bar .

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What's slower than mollasses? Your fattass mother!

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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women's rights

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diarrhea.

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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Knock Knock. Knockin on Heavens door, oh hey come in

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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