Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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What can hitler cook well Steak

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

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a group of jews went to a factory to apply for jobs. Only one came out.

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? He thought he saw a ghost.

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What did a lot of money say? I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!!!!!

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

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What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Q: why did the boy fall down when he was walking home? A: he was murdered.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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