I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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How do you throw a party in space? You planet!

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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boo

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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