roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

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A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are eating lunch on a bridge. The Mexican drops his taco off the side of the bridge and the Italian and American were kind enough to share some of their lunch with the Mexican making it a successful picnic. Their ethnicity was not relevent at all.

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are falling from a building. Which one hits the ground first? Who cares

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

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What's puby and dandruffy? Aodhan Hearty

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Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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What did you get for your birthday? I got older

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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