How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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