roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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sdjhkferiughefljbdfnjkbhdfghlwu24537? 928ndfnfwdjfhoinbv;nop[

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

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why did the boring girl get ditched she was boring...

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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your mom is so fat.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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Q: What did the blind deaf orphan get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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What do you call a black woman that flys a plane? - a pilot...

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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Who are doctors and literally are porn stars

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

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Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

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Q. What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A. An horse.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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