- Anti Joke

You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

What can fly? Lots of things

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

What is both bold and brash? Fox

What do you call a hispanic man hopping a large fence? A hispanic man hopping a large fence.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

whats the best thing about polio...death

You know whats funny Aids

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

How do u make a hockey player cry You Kill his entire family

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.