Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call a muslim flying a plane a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You know what's gay? Grabbing another man's penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a man that's not funny? An un - funny man!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags

thumb_up thumb_down +7

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why do people insist on drinking diet soda meanwhile eating extremely unhealthy food? Because some people like the taste of diet soda over regular soda.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We're both lawyers!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops