Jacob loves stroking his gf's doodle every lunch break. He was embarrased cause it was bigger than his.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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