why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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