A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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Why was the truck driver speeding down the road? To get to his mother's funeral. Why didn't the baby cross the road? Because it didn't have any guts.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

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Who did sally vote for in 1920 Nobody woman couldnt vote until 1928

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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