So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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Once upon a time

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Knock Knock *opens the door*

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops