Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

thumb_up thumb_down +32

G

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Raveena Thandhan

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

thumb_up thumb_down +32

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A possesed goat: "moo"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops