What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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Your mom is so fat that she has high cholesterol. Moral: I AM NOT CRAZY! Said the man to the dog.

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Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

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Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

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What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

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nice tits.

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Ayy mon, come smoke dis weed wit ma

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops