- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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knock knock

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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Poop

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

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Your Black, Im Black, We're all Black

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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