A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

learn. advance!

What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

Q. Why did the kid drop his tennis racket? A. Because he got run over by a tank!

What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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