Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Agent 47.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

rabbits running in my bathroom!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Who did that?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops