"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

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What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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What's worse than being annal raped by a black man? Well lots of things are but being raped by a guy who has around a 7 inch penis may be hurtful I'm sure being cut open and eaten alive may be worse;)

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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