What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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life is like a box of chocolates, it sucks if you have diabetes

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

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Yo' mama's so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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A man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. He then joins them.

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Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

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Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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. . I am a whale

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What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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