Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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Why does Joel's breathe smell?

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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Why did little Jimmy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus.

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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Why was the kid running around? He was on fire

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What do you call a blonde who likes to read? A bookworm.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hanky panky , but silly Jill forgot her pill so now there's little Frankie...

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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