knock knock whos there? IRS Oh....

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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You having friends.

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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Jackie Chan: Who the **** is chuck Testa? A: Chuck Testa was an internet sensation who became famous after his video on Youtube advertising his taxidermy business, Ojai Valley Taxidermy.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Jumping out of an airplane is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops