Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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So a blonde walks into a wall...

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what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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Whats the difference between chris and a party. the locations

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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