Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

Why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was, AIIEEEEIUUUUHGH!

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

5 Italian guys from Long Island

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

My name is Will I am a real homosexual

what do you call a black man that sells drugs

What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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