roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

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An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

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A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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What did the old man say? Im old

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So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

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You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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Where do 5 gay guys go????? One Direction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops