How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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Knock knock whos there? Underware Underware who? I underware my friends are

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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whats white and big and white? alot of things...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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