what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

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Why is Macaroni Boy so Cool Because He's not

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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which one is easiest

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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