why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why was the black man good at basketball? A: because he practiced

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:How come we have a black man in th white house? A: because we elected him

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops