What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

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What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, hence the name Violets.

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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What did Steve say when his leg got chopped off? Nothing, he went into a state of shock before blacking out due to loss of blood. Later on, he died, and a week later, a funeral was held, in which nobody showed up, because nobody cared for Steve.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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why did the black go to the KFC because he likes fried chicken

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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