Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

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Your momma's so stupid, she threw out all the W's in the m&m's packet

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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Neronism is based on the belief that respect and love for one self and ones opinions, combined with respect and love for the opinions of those which follow the same concepts, is the right thing to do. Now behold what religion has done, it spreads fear and poverty, demands the submission of free will and belief in oneself, which again leads to pedophilia, abuse and discrimination of women, abuse and hate, which breeds life to wars agony, suffering poverty and disease in the name of what defines love these days for some "might exist and be jealous and cruel God which loves you so much, that he gives you the option behind serving him or endless suffering..." Not to mention, this fear of eternal torment, being passed on for generation to generation, creating endless wars since the dawn of mankind. Know that we do consider outsiders inferior, but we do not hate you, we pity you, we will not make you suffer, as you due to your path, suffer enough already. Now ask yourself, if we are what you could say those that represent anti-religion, as we go on knowing this, we can not only do better than religion... ...But the hell if we can do worse! Moral: "We will not walk with pride into the light, we will not go into war against those we disagree with, instead we walk in the dark with humility and listen to our hearts and the one of others in order to find our definition of love and kindness... ...Otherwise Neronism would just be yet another fucking religion, and there is enough of that in this world already. If you listen then you know who I am in spirit, if not then you might have learned something new.

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops