I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Three men went into a bar; one was blind, another deaf and the third was mute. The blind guy said "Did you SEE that?" The deaf guy said "WHAT?" And the mute said "...."

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If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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Your dad isn't gay...but his boyfriend..HES REALLY GAY!

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Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

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roses are red violets should be purple

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

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why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

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Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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tim tebow is a grat quarterback

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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