What did the Chinese guy say to the black guy? Nothing, the black guy dosen't speak chinese.

What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

Whats worse than the dole. The SRC!!!

What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family weaped his final days of his life.

why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

A fish walks into a bar. He proceeds to talk the bartender. "Blub blub blub" The fish sitting next to him whispers to the bartender. "What is he talking about." The bartender shrugs.

A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

What colour is chocolate? Brown.

How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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