Why did the chicken kross the road? It didn't because it was a highway and it got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman crashed onto a desert island... The Englishman swiftly used his satellite phone to broadcast their location and they were taken home to their worried families.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the white man say to the mexican man when the mexican stepped in poop? you have poop on your toe

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was was a black guy carrying a tv out of someone else's house. He was helping them move.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What walks on it's hands My uncle

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the i pod she made the i pad!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Nah

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the difference between a bear and berries? No idea? You better stay out of the forest...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

have you ever tried Ethiopian food? neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Have you seen Jamal's socks?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

thumb_up thumb_down -12

knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops