whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

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What do you call a black man that has a family with a white woman? A good husband and father who had a stable job in a not so stable economy. The current issues of inflation has made it hard for him, but his dedication pays his bills and feeds his family. He later will die a sad death caused by prostate cancer at the age of 47.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops