Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

Knock knock, Whos there? Your adopted.

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

Why was the black man driving a plane? because he was a pilot, you racist.

how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

Doctor! I have no problems at all! So, uh why are you here? Isnt that freaking weird? Wow, that might be a problem! Puh! I have a problem then. Yeah, goodbye!

What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

Q: what did i say when i crashed into the twin tower. A: nothing i was dead

what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

A: Why is that boy on the ground? B: He fell. A: Why did he fall? B: He tripped. A: Why did he trip? B: I tripped him. A: Why did you... B: BECAUSE I WANTED TO!

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

What's the difference between an egg and a Llama? The'yre both not lamps.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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