A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

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this joke is funny so dont read the rest even though there is no rest

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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What happened when the black man approached a dinosaur? Nothing, for dinosaurs were eradicated from the face of the earth 135 million years ago.

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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whats the best selling shampoo for children and family? gerrmany's shampoo german engineering. i'm not sure I get anti jokes wait you don't need engineering for soap? HITLER DID -audience- thats mean who else was mean? uhh Mao? Stalin? STDS? -audience- no HITERWAS MEAN wat happen to him he became the leader and fuher of germany and was onn world domination? no he died abullet and a pill died killed him oh god 11 million people died because of him and we make jokes about it -its ANITjokes okay? t make this S$75 any better doesn't revive the fallen -okay......... LOL I bet that soap was actually eaten before by actidneet -jesus shutup okay ok.. sorry man .. wait man? single person? but waht abut "audience" I guess I want a crowd as big as hitlers but all I get is my twisted autism - billy turner died from autism and arrested for practicing naziism in public.

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A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

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Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

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I wonder if God looks at the Earth all these years later and thinks, Man, I really went overboard with the water, didn't I?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite joke? A. Nothing, because he cant hear.

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How does a Black Guy eat chicken. Like anyother human-being.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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What Mistake Do Ghosts make? None ghosts dont exist..

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What did the boy say when he could'nt find his dog? I wonder where Spot went.

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A grandma says come on twinkies and the teinkies say were terriosts from your lost hole

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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knock knock. who's there? me. me who? shut up im robbing you.

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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What's the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same

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there once was a frog with no leggs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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