A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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A black guy pulls into a KFC drive thru and orders some chicken. The cashier tells him that they are out of chicken, so the black goes to McDonald's instead.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

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Why did the computer load on facebook? Thats what you typed in.

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A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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hi dave

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If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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Cancer. Super Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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