Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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What goes up but never comes down? This dick

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10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? The Holocaust

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

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Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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Have you read Shakespeare? Dunno. Who wrote it? Shakespeare.

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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why did the black man leave his home because there was a hurricane that would have killed him if he stayed.

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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