Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 sodomized his whole family.;

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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What's the difference between a car tyre and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear. The others a fucking great year!!! San2

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

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Nig gers Jews Bean ers and fa ggots and everyones grandma that died recently, F u c k you there all burning in Hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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