A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the kindergarten teacher crying? a child had just choked to death

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

thumb_up thumb_down +4

http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many lesbians dose it take to finish a pizza? One or unless she invites some freinds over.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Cut the rope.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops