If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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a christian man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a jewish man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a muslim man asked god a question. he too, did not get an answer. an atheist man asked god a question. he got his answer.

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Probably 5

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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